When it comes to choosing a partner things can get somewhat tricky. Often, people fall prey to emotional miscarriage because of ill-judgment on the quality of the partner, lack of proper life planning and the tendency to ignore the real world. This leads to choosing an inappropriate partner, which can eventually have disastrous consequences for both the persons involved. To help you figure out the right way to select the right partner, we present here 10 smart tips.
Resist fear while choosing your partner
Often, people choose a partner because of fear for some reason. Perhaps it’s about internal insecurities that most of us, as humans, suffer from. Whatever the reason for the fear, it can ruin a relationship as you might end up living under the constant fear of not having made the right decision in the first place.
Be careful when you get into a relationship
It’s usual to get carried away by the initial encounters and get into a relationship with a person based on those. But it’s usually too early to get into a relationship too soon. Over time, you may realize that you could and should have waited and watched the person. You feel bad because you spent considerable emotional energy on the person and yet it did not materialize. Generally, when people are in the beginning of a romantic relationship, they make their decision to enter the relationship based on bodily pleasure and fantasy, and not ground reality. You should be patient before you make a commitment to another person.
No need of a checklist
When choosing a partner, people make a list of qualities and attributes that their potential partner should have. Choosing a partner as per your checklist can hardly materialize because it’s nay impossible to get one individual having all the conditions mentioned in your list. A healthy relationship is the outcome of cordial understanding and emotional compatibility. When the person is around, how you feel emotionally plays an important role in deciding whether the person is suitable for you.
Don’t yield to passion
People tend to get attracted to those who are good to look at. When you’re attracted to a person, you’re likely to get misguided by mere physical looks. You’re unsure whether the person would be suitable enough to enter a relationship with from an emotional standpoint, and you think the person is the right one for you.
Get to know personal quality
Your would-be partner should have the qualities that are basic to a good relationship, and you can overlook the unimportant factors, such as the complexion, and the like. The person must have qualities such as integrity, considerate nature, reliability, kindness, and emotional intelligence. If you find these qualities in the person, be smart to explore more.
Avoid getting too emotional
When you miss the person for some time, you suffer from a sense of void and anxiety because you’re unsure about the person. This anxiety consumes considerable energy as you keep on making wild speculations. And, when the person comes back you feel exhilarated. However, when you find them playing with your feelings, you get hurt and the relationship may not materialize.
Take help of others
While choosing a partner, you might get coaxed by fantasy and you feel it’s right to choose your partner without any second thought, without considering the past history of the person, their qualities and so on. Choosing the partner yourself gives the feel that you’re smart. However, in the real world, it’s pretty hard to find a partner who can meet all your expectations. Therefore, it makes sense to take the advice of your friends and relations, or professional help, if need be.
Choose a partner whose intellectual qualities match yours. If you have an average intellect and your partner has a super intellect, then the relationship may not long last because you may be unable to reach a balanced view that’s acceptable to both on things that you confront in life.
Don’t look for something that may not happen
You get into a relationship with an individual and you find some great attributes there. Many times, people with the attributes you’re looking for might not be there to find. So, you keep on waiting to find the right person, till perhaps it becomes too late. Therefore, it’s important to be clear with what you’re looking for and what’s acceptable to you. You should also identify triggers that evoke a no-no.
Take it easy
Remember, you’re going to find a partner who’s right for you – don’t get pressurized and be stressed. The more relaxed you are, the more comfortable you’ll be in making the right judgment. This will help you attract the right sort of partner.
Choosing a partner for a relationship of any sort is a significant step because it affects all – you, your parents, colleagues, and other people around you, in the years of to come. Therefore, be sensible, patient and make a cool decision. Take professional help, should you feel the need.